A Letter to Myself

Between my divorce and now, you know what happened in the middle?  You found Him (God).  Those years in between felt like an exile, but you learned what a home was and made one for yourself.  You learned to be decisive without overthinking and worrying since your life is in His hands.  You learned to give up control of who people are and how they treat you.  You learned to be content in any and all circumstances.  You found peace.  A man didn’t give you any of these things, which means now your expectations on another have been minimalized.  This gives the other person in your life license to be who they are, accepting them just as they are.  Just don’t forget your value and stick up for yourself when need be.  You are a person with a will and emotions, unique and valued.  You need to take care of yourself rather than look to another human being to do it for you. 

You have made mistakes.  You are making mistakes.  You will make mistakes.  This is a part of life.  When you get hard on yourself for your screw ups, remember the advice and consoling encouragement you give others.  You give so much grace to others; you are worthy of it too.  Do you hold mistakes over people’s heads?  No.  So don’t do it to yourself.  Let God have the final say.  He knew what you would do before you did it and still thought you were worth dying for.

You are excited and scared at this juncture of your life.  You fear these three things most right now: getting your heart broken, failing health, and being alone.  At one point all of these things are going to happen in some shape, form, or fashion.  You’ve faced these kind of situations before, and you made it.  You survived.  Remember what that Springville Camp preacher said about people who have suffered most?  “They are the most dangerous people in the world because they know they can survive.”  You are a survivor and an overcomer.  Whether these things are healed here on earth or in heaven, you win.  You will survive any storm thrown your way on this earth because you trust in God who is your anchor of hope.  He has never forsaken you or left you alone.  Ever.  And He never will.  When everything else changes around you, God will not.  He is your constant.  He is peace. He is hope.  He is strength.  Run to Him when you get tired and weary.

What if _________ isn’t the one?  What if you never marry again?  Continue to walk in the path God shows you and do not fear.  God’s plans for you are bigger and greater than any dream you could ever conjure up for yourself.  It will all work out in the end exactly the way it was supposed to all along.    

You’re surprised when something good happens to you.  You’ve always waited for the other shoe to drop.  God has good things planned for you, plans from long ago that cannot be thwarted, which means you cannot mess things up enough and neither can those who might oppose you.  You and your contenders are just not powerful enough to change your destiny; only God is.       

So rest.  Rest is active spiritual warfare.  You are just now learning what that is, and it has proved more effective than you expected.  God has more things to show you.  Let go and let God. You are in the best of hands.  You are His beloved. 

Photo by Freddy Castro on Unsplash

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