“Our struggle is not against flesh and blood…”

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”

(Proverbs 4:23, NLT)

In my last blog entry, “Overcoming a Relentless Enemy,” I wrote about our vulnerability to the enemy’s attack and that we must activate our faith so that we can withstand the enemy.  In this next part, I will focus on how the enemy weasels into our life and how to reinforce change against similar, future attacks.

Some years ago, I met someone who would play an instrumental part in my life; it was a very painful experience that has proved to be packed full of many lessons learned for me.  At the time when I met this person, I was weighed down by the shame and guilt of divorce. I was only in the beginning stages of nursing those wounds when this person came into my life; he comforted me in my pain, ministered even, by praying for me and quoting Scripture over me.  The problem? This man hid behind a seemingly good reputation, position, and religious good deeds.

This man did appear to have some level of sincerity at times, able to articulate himself with the gospel of peace.  This is what was so confusing for me. He held “a form of [outward] godliness (religion), although [he] denied its power [for his conduct nullified his claim of faith]” (2 Timothy 3:1-5, AMP).      

The Greek word for “form” (of godliness) in this verse conveys the idea that someone is “putting up a front.”  Morphosin is the Greek here, which in our English spelling is morphosis.  The inference of the Greek word morphosis means “appearance” or “to form a semblance.”  Thus, what I was seeing was the mere form he had created for others to see.  

Isn’t is true sometimes that situations with people aren’t always what they seem?  Scripture backs this up:

“Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.  By their fruit you will recognize them” (Matthew 7:15-16a, NIV).

“Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his servants masquerade as servants of righteousness” (2 Corinthians 11:14-15, NIV).   

This ministry of writing calls for great wisdom.  In no way do I want to “throw someone under the bus” so to speak; this life we live involves interaction with others.  Though I would hope to protect “the other party” as best as I can, I do not wish to hide being deceived by my own heart: “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.  Who can understand it?”(Jeremiah 17:9, NIV).  

YES, there were red flags, many of them and from the very beginning!  I suppose I missed having a spouse and longed for what I once had.  I reasoned through this particular man’s schemes. I questioned my ability to discern accurately and wisely through the situation with this man since I had just gone through a divorce and wondered if that whole relationship had been a mistake.  I suddenly became indecisive about any decisions in my life and sort of froze in place! I just decided not to make any big decisions, good or bad.  I doubted myself, so how could I make right judgements about someone else?

What helped me get out of this relationship with this man?

The Holy Spirit.  My friends. Pastoral counselors.  Accepting truth. And the final stamp of obedience to walk away from something that did not have God’s approval!

From this experience with this man, this is what I ultimately learned about the way the enemy weasels into our life and how to strengthen reinforcements for similar, future attacks:         

-I realize that we need to be on our guard for any “surprise” traps of the enemy when we have undergone any initial and great hardship; we can lose balance in our mind, will, and emotions for a time until Jesus heals us in that situation.

-Feed the spirit but starve the emotion.  Tumultuous relationships like these (which I recommended NOT entering) bring in high emotions.  Without the Holy Spirit’s help, we will feed the nature of man, its sinful nature guided by worldliness (Romans 8:3-4, NIV).  We will lower our standards, fighting back in the same way people in the world fight each other. If we follow our fleshly desires in this regard, we forfeit God’s intended peace over our life and the good plan He ultimately has for us.  Instead, we settle for something less fulfilling just to obtain that temporary want or desire within us that most likely will lead to disaster down the road (Romans 12:1-2, NIV). Our spirit-man in the faith must be kept stronger, focused and ready at all times for what wars against the nature of man (Philippians 3:15-21, MSG; Ephesians 6:10-19, AMP; Romans 7:14-25, NIV).

-The Word is powerful, but we must separate the power of His Word from the vehicle behind the Word. We cannot be deceived here. Words are powerful! (Proverbs 18:21, NIV). Even Eve in the Garden of Eden bought into what the crafty serpent had to say about the tree of the knowledge of good and evil because he was using, or rather, replaying the same words that had a higher authority behind them. With this man I met, it was similar. A good friend counseled me on this man’s statements I had fallen for every time he would say them (specific Scriptures, repeated phrases of God-like encouragement, etc.); she said that anything good he would say to me was not from him, but to think of it as from the Lord. His charm and way with words did not work on me anymore after I considered this perspective!  

-Don’t fight your battles alone and on your own! First, you have the Holy Spirit who will guide you to places of truth (John 16:13, NIV); He may even warn you (Acts 20:23, NIV).  Second, we make up the body of Christ; we were not created to do life alone. My closest friends that truly know me helped untangle the mess in my heart. They made me consider questions regarding my future and future family with this man if things were to go down that road.  They also assured me of my past, that I was a trusting person in my marriage and prior dating relationships, yet not with this man. After all, if this man was trustworthy, there shouldn’t have been trust issues at all, right?

-Obedience, obedience, obedience!!!!!!!  This lesson came for me at a high cost! Because I had ignored the warnings of the Holy Spirit, along with offhandedly dismissing the red flags in which my spirit bore witness, there were consequences to bear.  I believe the consequences of my disobedience were as much or maybe even more far reaching than the actual toxic relationship itself. The aftermath of fears and paranoia (not to mention the trust issues to believe someone else again or in trusting myself because ultimately I let this person into my life) would continue long after not seeing this man anymore.  Consequently, a lot of unnecessary “repair” in my life had to be implemented because I was not obedient to the Holy Spirit.  I had to accept the damage of losing some people in my life while he would win some over with his tactful ways and with his skewed version of things to cover and protect himself in the situation.  I had to overcome his gaslighting statements that he would somehow control my life’s future and outcome. I had to replace those thoughts with reminders about who God is, in and through my life:

Jesus is Lord over my life and over the universe (Acts 17:24, NIV).  We serve an Omnipotent God who has power over all things and whose power is infinite and limitless.   

“What [God] opens no [man] can shut, and what [God] shuts no [man] can open” (Revelation 3:8, NIV with my emphasis).  

Ultimately, we are responsible for what or who we allow into our life, and we are responsible for guarding our heart that determines the course of our life (Proverbs 4:23, NLT).  So, I want to encourage you with this last word: “Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you– guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us” (2 Timothy 1:14, NIV).  

In my next blog, I will address how the Holy Spirit reveals our own hearts to us in our battles with the enemy, along with any unhealthy patterns we have cultivated into our lives that might have given the enemy a foothold.  

Photo by David Beale on Unsplash